Guys! Hey! So I'm sort of working chronologically through my recent happenings and I have so many funny, crazy and downright psycho things to tell you from V Festival. Even though I feel autumn creeping in, here are the unique highlights of the weekend! I've seen quite a few blogger festival posts this summer so I've kept it to the nitty gritty, juicy bits and some things I am fairly confident you will NOT expect!
1. SO we bounced down the motorway in Stacey's ride and luckily I had peeked at the festival map before travel, so we knew to drive to a certain car park and be right by a campsite. No walking from the car laden with bags like camels! We camped in the quieter Gold campsite but it did make us feel quite far away from the atmosphere and potentially our hangovers worse. Our morning routine was to wake up to the sounds of children (yes really - see below) and go to sit in the car for about an hour, drinking two litres of water. This probably wasn't the best idea!
2. Last year we were in a group but this year it was just our gruesome twosome, and other people annoyed me and Stacey a LOT. As we weren't absorbed in a larger friendship group, we were all too aware of the 18 year olds sloshing drinks everywhere, the rowdy people standing in the way when we had the exact perfect spot, and the crazy girls with attitude trying to cause toilet riots. A lot of festival-goers spoke to us but they were often secretly insane, such as the random girl that approached Stacey to ask to borrow her lipstick and lipgloss. We spent many mornings feeling like the drinks we snuck in should be much stronger! We do sound like grouchy old women but yes we were until around 4pm.
3. However we met many a fabulous person, as detailed soon. My best buddy Barrie from work is potentially the best festival wing-man ever and even brought us both festival presents and made us loom bands while watching Rudimental! Can I just make a side note and say how much I fancy one of the dudes in Rudimental. I had to state how much of a nice man he seems many, many times while gazing at the Main Stage screen with heart eyes.
3. Back to camping though and yes we camped with children. Well one child, but it felt like many. Our spot seemed perfectly fine and calm although Stacey did mention she either had to sleep on a rock or hug the said rock, which maybe explains our 4 hours of bad sleep each night. We were just cracking out our first (OK, second) cheap cider after successfully setting up the tent, and heard the voice of a young girl, probably around 10 years old. The child's Peppa Pig camping chair was in fact not for ironic effect but did actually belong to a minor who was there with her granny. This would have been fine if she had not been the most annoying person on the planet! Even her nan said 'Why do you have to be SO ANNOYING ALL OF THE TIME!!!!' on the last day. She was super chatty about the weirdest things, saying classic quotes such as 'Oh nan I'm as cold as a sausage!!!!!'. Every day when we woke up from a hazy few hour's snooze, we felt like we were in some sort of alternate universe of weirdness. She really was bizarre and we could not cope.
4. The thing that possibly pushed us over the edge was the mystery of the black bits. By black bits, I mean tiny little black specks that were EVERYWHERE! I was applying my makeup on the first morning feeling so hyped for Jhene Aiko (more on this Goddess below!) and I realised there were black brush hairs all over my face. I cursed my new Real Techniques brushes and then realised they were all over my pillow and body, and even under our nails! I would pick them off my face and five minutes later there were more!! We had no idea what they were and realised they really weren't the makeup brushes (sorry Chapman sisters!) but were some sort of plague or curse. In the end I just gave up and accepted my face of bits, but every so often Stacey and I would find a little bit in really random places like in our purse and would freak out. My brother had used the tent the week before so I thought he may be able to solve the mystery, but he said he found them too and thinks it's the wearing away of the tent floor. Well never again people, never again!!
5. Back to the first day of Friday evening where they open the arena before the bands kick off on the Saturday, and I was especially keen to hit club MTV in the massive circus tent, followed by a silent disco. Many (I was going to say a few but I'm old now!) years ago at Reading Festival, we had to run to the queue for a silent disco even before the headliner had been on, so I wanted to be all queued up and prepared for this baby, and make the most of the first night. We ventured down to the arena before grabbing out wrist bands from Barrie on the gate (he worked there!) and partied it up in the club/tent! At one point Stacey made me go on a fairground ride which I am so scared of (and made her go on them on her own at Wireless Festival), but I was talked into a swinging, spinning, upside down monster, screamed and closed my eyes throughout, and walked off feeling much more drunk than 60 seconds ago! We queued for the silent disco, Stacey snuck out to run to the toilets while I hid from the security who did not let anyone come back in, and we danced with 18 year olds until 3am to the two different DJs playing different songs simultaneously - you just flick a switch on your headphones to change the song and everyone is dancing and singing to different things! Amazing!
6. The first night really tired us out so we felt slightly delicate the next day but embarked for my only favourite act of the weekend, Jhene Aiko. I don't really know why I bought the festival ticket as I was not into any of the other acts who all seemed to be indie and male, but when I saw Jhene on the line up I nearly whooped out loud on the train to work and immediately felt very excited. She was so lovely and sweet and just amazing, and not many people were watching her so we were very close. I had already looked at a recent setlist of hers so when some girls infront of us were saying 'I don't know this song? Maybe it's new?', I could input 'She's covering Tupac'. Now I don't particularly know a Tupac song from any other but they were very impressed with my worldy music knowledge until I did reveal to Stacey later that I only knew because I had read it recently! Haha!
7. The second surprise highlight was Childish Gambino, who I have only been listening to recently and did a major set at the MTV stage to a crazy crowd. His dancing and strutting across the stage really drove everyone wild and instead of sitting to eat pizza with Stacey, I decided to venture towards the thick of the crowd at the stage and go back to Stacey after a few songs. Somehow I always end up getting into VIP areas, backstage and behind barriers where ever I go, through no effort of my own really. A man next to me was also alone and after a few songs feeling like we really should start talking to each other, he started up a conversation and it turned out he was the DJ at the cocktail tent! Now this 'cocktail tent' was more of a huge open VIP house with fancy bars and a DJ platform high above the bar, so you could only see the DJ if they hung over the wall in front of the box. Around the clean, plastic bars were dance floors spilling out onto the festival field and music pumping, so as you walked by you were almost drafted into a totally new section! Infact some people spent more time there than watching bands! The DJ said we should stop by for some drinks, so I returned to Stacey with news of my new friend, and we went to meet Barrie to see my dreamboat Rudimental dude and party with him.
8. This is where things took a turn for the bizarre and a sequence of events that could only happen at a festival. We had spent all morning feeling a bit harsh towards really annoying people around us and the absolute riot and state that were the toilets. I overheard many times that they were the worst ever, and compared with the beautiful cleanliness of the Wireless toilets, these were really not great. This makes you not really want to drink anything, but all you want to do is be merry and stay hydrated! So we finally felt the festival vibes and skipped off to the cocktail tent, where I waved down the DJ and we got some cocktails and met his male model friend - well hello there! They both took a break to come with us to see Jason Derulo, who was smooth like a smoothie from the veeery far away place we were standing as it was SO busy.
9. This is where we did that silly thing that features in horror movies, where the characters decide to split up and all get killed. We didn't get killed of course, but we decided for myself and DJ man to go back to the cocktail area for his set, and Stacey go with Mr Model to watch their favourite Paolo Nutini. I'm not a Paolo fan so I was eeeking inside with excitement as myself and the DJ went backstage and climbed the ladder up to the cocktail DJ floor/box, where you looked over the whole crowd dancing from above. Of course my exterior was cool and collected, but as usual when you are backstage, inside you are thinking 'Well this isn't daily life! Hell yea!', just like a rock star. I put in my favourite requests and channelled my inner Kate Moss festival vibes, and soon enough the DJs friend returned... without Stacey. Somehow he was lost her along the way and we had no phone signal so we were stuck!! Red alert!
I made the most of hanging out in the cocktail area with all of the crew but soon security noticed I didn't have a backstage wristband and got a bit funny. Now if you are ever in some sort of VIP set up, even if the people say you just need to hang around for the main manager or wait outside for ten minutes while they sort it, just cut your loses and leave because you don't want to be that sad groupie hanging around an entrance! I wasn't really supposed to be there anyway so as soon as it was mentioned, I said goodbyes and skipped off. While considering my plan B now that I was alone, one of the barmen I had been chatting to a little while before when I was partying with the DJs (be nice and chat to everyone - a good life motto) said he was going to see Chase and Status at the big circus tent with another dude while on their bar breaks. I said 'Sure!' and by then it was night time so I found myself in a strobe lit, floor shaking, 10,000 deep crowd all raving to thumping dance music in the dark. It was wild! I then made friends with a girl who was saying 'You're so beautiful!' and I was saying 'No you are!' because she was so pretty and we were all raving and could barely hear over the crazy music anyway. I was dancing with her and all of her friends were lovely too, and I was thinking 'Wow these people are so welcoming and nice! I hope Stacey has found some nice people!'. Then I saw my new friend kissing one of the other girls and the penny dropped, I was being chatted up! I happily danced with my new lesbian friendship crew after being drafted into the group like one of their BFFLs. Only at a festival could all of this happen!
You will be happy to know I did make it back to my tent safely but without a new fling, and so did Stacey, although we were VERY delicate on Sunday and at one point I had to sit on the floor with my head in my hands while it rained down on us and another indie man band strummed away. Stacey was in heaven but I was feeling disastrous until a man came through the crowd, imparted words of positivity and inspiration to me, and then disappeared. I suddenly felt the surge to power on and to this day I feel he may have been my guardian angel!
10. And we find ourselves at number 10! I'm sorry I deceived you into thinking I would summarise my experience but I have just ended up typing and typing for hours tonight! Number 10 has to be outfits, and sadly the weekend was FREEZING! We couldn't explain it, we had to layer up in anything we could find and my co-ords only got a showing for a matter of minutes. Oh well! I wore my lemon Motel set again as I love it and a festival setting is the perfect place for it, and a new identical set in a green tropical print! Stacey also wore all Motel, with the sunflower skirt and off shoulder dress! I wore some nail decals on my face (also asked to borrow from a random girl in a crowd?!) and a head piece, although it was very wonky and falling off most of the time but I did feel very cool! So there you have it. I think this post really explains why I would never vlog!!